Alternative title: things you do if you're a
socially-awkward turtle who also likes to document their outfits.
1. Picture the scene: it's a warm, sunny day. You cheerfully
go to your other half and say 'It's lovely out today, let's go for walk!'. They
look at you with a sense of dread and dismay because they know that this phrase
is code for 'Can we go take some outfit
pictures?'.