Things You'll Understand If You're An Outfit Blogger



Mango Slogan T-shirt, Leather Jacket, Leopard Print Bag
Slogan T-shirt and leather jacket
Topshop Leopard Print Bag
Alternative title: things you do if you're a socially-awkward turtle who also likes to document their outfits.




1. Picture the scene: it's a warm, sunny day. You cheerfully go to your other half and say 'It's lovely out today, let's go for walk!'. They look at you with a sense of dread and dismay because they know that this phrase is code for  'Can we go take some outfit pictures?'.


2. You've so often resorted to bribing your other half with food in exchange for their photo-taking services, that you could probably justify listing it as a business expense. 


3. You've cancelled plans with your partner to go to the cinema/out for lunch etc. because it started raining and you didn't want to go out if you couldn't take outfit pictures beforehand.


4. In a similar vein, you've also changed your outfit when it started raining. Not because you want to wear something more weather-appropriate (a far too sensible action), but because you don't want to waste your blog-worthy outfit if you can't get pictures of it. 


5. Wandering around your city centre for hours at a time, in pursuit of the holy grail an instagram-friendly background. 


6. You've legitimately resorted to googling the phrase 'instagram backgrounds' in your particular city, in your determination to find a photogenic wall in the vicinity. When is someone going to come up with an app for this?! 


Mango Slogan T-shirt, Leather Jacket, Leopard Print Bag

Primark Gucci-Dupe Loafers

Leopard Print Bag and Loafers

Mango Slogan T-shirt, Leather Jacket, Leopard Print Bag

7. You spot a building with a white wall that would make a great background. Unfortunately, said building has an office on the ground floor with sizeable windows and you can feel the stares of the bewildered employees inside. 


8. You come across a great spot for outfit pictures- it's a nice-looking street and, at 2pm on a Tuesday afternoon, is pretty deserted. You position yourself, your boyfriend is ready with the camera and that is the moment a crowd of people decide to walk past. 


9. You get incredibly awkward when people walk past and feel compelled to walk back to your boyfriend and super casually pretend to talk to him or look at the camera while you wait for the crowd to disperse. 


10. Doing poses that look good in pictures, resigned to the fact that these poses make you look like an absolute twat in real life. Hands up if 90% of your Instagram shots consist of you looking to one side and grinning like you just saw Ryan Gosling? 🙋 And let's not forget the classic 'looking down and laughing shot'- what can I say? Apparently my feet are just bloody hilarious. 


11. Trying to recreate the cool walking shots that you've seen on Pinterest and end up with a full camera roll of pictures in which you look like you're doing the Hokey Kokey. 


12. Checking the pictures your boyfriend has taken and begging for 'just a few more', because you aren't happy with your facial expressions in any of them, or the wind messed up your hair, or FOR GOD'S SAKE, WHY AM I BLINKING IN ALL OF THESE?


13. Wishing you could be in two places at once and wondering when scientists will perfect the cloning process, so you can use it purely for the purposes of taking your own outfit pictures.


14. Taking approximately 1389 photos and, inevitably, always using the first five. 


Outfit Details 

Jacket- New Look (old, similar here), T-shirt- Mango (sold out, similar here), Jeans- ASOS, Shoes- Primark (in-store only, similar here), Bag- Topshop (old, similar here)

No comments